I woke up early this morning. Earlier than I have in a long time.

Outside my window beyond tall buildings I watched the sunrise and puffy clouds turn from gray to white.

For the first time in a long time I heard only silence and soft twitter of the first birds.

And in that moment I felt He was here beside me watching the sunrise, and I did not feel so alone.

‘Trust the mess and the not knowing… This is the real part. The most interesting part.’

~ Sabrina Ward Harrison

To say that life is hard right now, I think, would be an understatement.

I find myself wanting to write about whats been churning within me but my thoughts are unclear. Confused in my head. Muddled. They are mixtures of emotion and chastising reason. Unsure and often unkind. But I guess this is a start.

Sometimes I find it hard to speak.

Sometimes I wonder if I tried to explain, if you would even understand.

Instead, I have been finding solace in the reflective words of Henri Nouwen, in the encouragement of Jimmy, and in the loving embrace of James as we sit in parks and look out into the harbor.

God is doing something. And its deeper than ever before.