So I was at school walking down the hall this morning. I walked past classrooms, peeking into the windows, seeing students interacting with their teachers and with each other – I have to admit, as dorky as it sounds, it warmed my heart.

I think secretly I wanted to be a career student, that is, someone who is a student for pretty much most of their lives. These are people who never end up getting a job but just go from course to course studying and living the student lifestyle. I liked high school, maybe not the academics of it, but I definitely liked the friends and the socialising. Nowadays its  slightly different.

Learning is something I really enjoy and something that does energise me. I love sitting with my intellectual friends and hearing them talk about meaning and various aspects about how our world operates. I love learning and hearing about things I never even think about, things that don’t even pass my daily thoughts (which are usually on the most part, pretty self absorbed), for example CERN’s  Large Hadron Collider.

I believe that learning is about opening your mind up to endless possibilities. Broadening our world and perspective. Its about being able to make the most informed choices we can.

I think I am a fairly naturally inquisitive person. I want to know everything. And I also like to know about people, who you they, what makes them happy, what makes them tick. I guess that sort of make sense, me working in a school and all. Being in a place where there is learning and there is people. Some of the times I feel most alive is when I am with my students and we are interacting and discussing. Its almost like I can feel my brain juices being churned around my head. Sometimes I walk out of my classes and I feel so alive and so good about life. It is a really strange high.

I don’t know if all people feel this way about their jobs sometimes. But I have to admit though I feel that teaching can be a very draining and tiresome job (I really hate marking, and I really hate administration!) there are definitely aspects of it that deeply satisfy something inside my very core.

And like most jobs, some days I feel like I am doing absolutely nothing to make a difference in my world. I feel like my words are bouncing off their heads and it all seems a bit hopeless.  And then I get a random email from a student that shows me that something in the way I related to them has opened the eyes of at least one person and it made a difference  (even if it is small) in their world.

This is a most intensely satisfying feeling.

Today was the last day of school. The last day I would be a 10.2 form teacher and the last day I would teach my upper school media students.

I have been spending the past few days praying for and writing thank you notes to my students. I wanted to say thank you for all I have learnt from knowing them and for the privilege of them letting me into their worlds. I feel have grown as a person because of them, that somehow our interactions together have shaped me to some extent. I wanted to thank them because though I might of taught them but I feel somehow I may have parted with the better end of the deal.

So with these thank you notes I wanted to give them something that would enable them to see themselves the way I see them: great, gifted, beautiful people full of so much potential; more than I think they even realise. I wanted to speak their futures into life.

I felt so blessed today. My year 11’s threw a surprise party for me in class, but the finality of it being the last day only really hit me when 3 of the girls gave me the most awesome gift I have ever received: a video they produced wishing me farewell! Watching it almost made me cry, it was so beautifully thoughtful!

I don’t know how I should be feeling right now, except bittersweet. It feels so sad to leave, I am missing it already. I just wanted to share with you some of the other tokens of appreciation I received today that warmed my heart…

From the year 10’s: I’m glad they forgave me for all the infringements I gave them!

This one just made me laugh.. had to include it, it says ‘Emo for Miss Tsang’. Haha!

From the year 11’s: I loved the private study periods that seemed more like crowd control than anything else!

Its the last week of the school term and feels bittersweet.

I think in the last days up to my leaving its made me realise how time is so short. I’m savoring the small moments I have with people because I realise that I will not have these moments again. I don’t want to blink and miss it.

As I am in the process of emotionally detaching myself from this place, I’ve been feeling so blessed. So many kind words and encouragement from people in church, my students and good friends. They have shared stories and reflections on things we have learnt from each other over the years. Even little things we may have said or done without even knowing have made an impact.

There have been rekindled friendships, gifts, surprise parties, birthday and farewell parties and people just taking time out to spend with me over coffee, road trips and dinners. I am so touched and grateful for those who have reached out their hand, time and hospitality to me in my last days. They are creating more beautiful memories that I will always remember. Sometimes it takes a finality of something ending that we begin to appreciate the small things in our lives.

The students have been wonderful. I think sometimes as a teacher you wonder if you are really making a difference. If that if anything we have to say is being significant. And I am realising that even through those tough days as we keep pushing through our tiredness, our fears and loving the unlovely, we really are making a difference.

Today was fun. I had a little party with my year 12’s. An asian themed ‘Miss Tsang’s going to HK’ party. We all brought in some food, I cooked noodles and we shared a meal together. We talked about martial arts cinema and watched Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. The seniors made a little card for me, it made me laugh so hard!

I have seen the year 12’s grow so much over the past couple years, I am really going to miss our random discussions in class and their witty comments and nicknames for me: ‘Mise en Tsang’ (As opposed to ‘Mise en scene’ which is a film term for the arrangement of actors, scenery and properties within a frame.)

One of the year 8’s asked me today if the teacher replacing me is as nice as me – Ah comments like that just warm my heart!

I am going to miss this!

Week one of school is over.

I collapsed into my chair after my last period today. I felt physically exhausted yet intensely satisfied. I have to admit as hard work it is teaching with so much to do, so much to prepare, I really love my job. Sometimes when I think about my job, I get butterfly’s in my stomach, like nervous but excited.

This week I’ve been pulling some long hours, the longest being a 13 hour day. I’ve even been waking up at 4am so I can fit all my lesson planning in. Crazy times, but I love it. I guess thats what happens when you enjoy your job. But I have learnt some boundaries since last year and my rule is that once I leave the office, I don’t take any work home. Home is home and work stays at work… I don’t want my home to become another extension of the office. Last year first term, work just consumed me because I didn’t know where to draw the boundary. I would often work till 1am and then wake up early. There soon became no place for any ‘Anna’ time. So this year I’ve definately built those boundaries in my life!

But its been so good to get back into it. Seeing all the students again and catching up with all their holiday news. I love being around the students and I think thats the biggest reason why I love this job. They make this all worthwhile. I love bouncing ideas off them, discussing things with them and finding out more about their lives. What makes them tick and why they think what they think… All their individualities are so fascinating. They make me laugh, they are cute, sometimes they are weird and random and sometimes they just make me frustrated. But above all they make me want to reach out and engage with them.

I have the best year 10 form class this year! Just a really nice dynamic of kids. I love all their personalities and I’m growing to be quite protective of them. There are a few in there who I really have a heart for, the ones I call the ‘non responsives’. These are the ones who look totally unengaged, bored or just don’t really say much at all. They are the ones who look at you like you are the most boring-est person in the world or make you feel like you have food stuck between your teeth. But these are also the ones who usually have something going on at home or they have been told they have depression or some other disorder.

These are the ones I try to subliminally encourage during our morning devotions, make an intentional effort to say ‘hi’ to in the hallway or praise something they have done. Just something to let them know I notice and I care. Sometimes it gets thrown back in your face (actually most of the time!), but who said loving the unlovely was easy? I’ve grown a thicker skin because of it, but I think, if you persist and do something long enough, something will eventually get through.

I am feeling pretty blessed this year. I get to teach Media Studies to years 9 through to 12 and only teach year 11 and 12 Applied Info Tech (which is computing). I’m not the hugest fan of teaching computing but I love teaching media. I am passionate about media literacy and I enjoy teaching the kids to open up their eyes to their world, to the digital landscape they are living in. Its so much a part of our lives. Kids are immersed in it, often chatting on MSN, surfing their favourite website, doing research for an assignment, whilst they are also listening to music with the TV on in the background.

We basically learn about communication in media. It learning how to communicate an idea, an opinion, an emotion or a value through the media forms of film, television, photography, radio, print and computer based media. Its also about learning not only how to produce our own media but how to critically analyse and evaluate the media around us. That we are not absorbing those media messages at face value, that we can look at an advertisement and understand critically what they are trying to show us, why and how. Its also about studying how the media contributes and affects us as a society at an economic, local and personal level.

I find it really fascinating. To me, media is powerful. It pursuades us, informs us and entertains us. But I love how it also is an art form. The way its constructed and put together, the way the film director captures the intricate strands of smoke as it leaves the lips of an unknown character as the strains of ‘One Crowded Hour‘ by Augie March plays in the background. These images and sounds symbolise and invoke emotions in us. Sometimes they are things that words can’t simply express. Have you every watched a film that left you feeling so moved? So impacted?

I remember the first time I cried in a movie was ‘A walk to remember‘ with Mandy Moore. So I’m sitting there balling my eyes out wondering why I am even crying… The characters weren’t even real! Or watching ‘Hotel Rwanda‘ and feeling deeply impacted, shocked and sore for the people of Rwanda. The emotions it invoked through the telling of the story are so real. Or have you ever looked at a landscape photograph of a sunset and thought “Wow” at its beauty and shades of colours? The image moves you. Something in your spirit stirs.

I love it. This semester my 12’s are studying polemic documentaries; we are watching Fahrenheit 9/11 and looking at Michael Moore as a director. My year 11’s are studying what popular culture is then looking at and producing their own music videos. With my lower school kids the theme for this semester is ‘Superheros’ and we are producing comic books and filming a narrative film about their own superheros.

Ah, its going to be a fun year

Its Sunday afternoon. I’ve been at church all morning and I just got back from attempting to set up my media room at school. Tomorrow is the first day the kids are back and theres a weird tension in the office as everyone is focused on getting prepared in amongst the fact that half the classrooms are not fully complete.

My school has been getting a new auditorium built over the summer holidays and its proberly about half completed at the moment. It didn’t make the time schedule to get everything ready for the start of school. I’m still walking on a sand pit to get anywhere. My media classroom is about 3/4 finished. The desks aren’t arranged properly and my Macs aren’t set up. I don’t even think the software I ordered has arrived. Oh, and the internet isn’t working either.

I walked into my room this afternoon thinking I would be able to arrange the room a bit, move the desks around, maybe get some posters on the wall or something. The plasterer was still in there and so I pretty much plonked all my stuff on the table, looked around the room and decided its proberly best if I just left. There was no way I could actually get anything set up in there today.

To be honest, I’m not really too sure what I am going to do with the kids tomorrow. I have no computers and no internet. My media room is pretty much looking like a storeroom! I’m just pretty thankful that I have year 11’s and 12’s first up and we can maybe just chat about the holidays a bit and go through the unit outline. I might even get them to help me rearrange the room.

I feel like I could be alot more stressed out than I am right now. I’m not really prepared, the classrooms are not finished, plus I’m teaching year 9 computing tomorrow and theres no computers. I think I just have to laugh! But hey, nothing I can really do about it. Just have to give the whole situation to God and be flexible. He can worry about it. I was looking at the backdrop on the stage at church this morning, it said “His Grace is sufficient.. ” Thats so true I thought. His Grace is sufficient for me today as it will be tomorrow and His Mercies are new everyday. Theres no point worrying. I’m going to get a good nights sleep tonight and I’m going to waltz into the classroom and just leg it. It is going to be a fun day!

Been such a full on weekend again, with work, lunches and engagement parties. I’m about to leave to pick up people for my fourth church service this weekend. This week is going to be a bit crazy with the kids just starting back, lesson planning, ballet and vocal training, starting up and leading a new powercell (home group), visiting my old powercell to say goodbye and then church again on Friday!

Haha. I guess life is feeling normal again!

See these?

These are figs freshly picked from our tree.

In Matthew 21:18-22 it tells the story about how Jesus came across a fig tree and wanted to eat of the fruit. Walking up to it and seeing that it bore no figs, Jesus cursed it. The disciples were amazed at how the fig tree withered and died, so they asked Jesus how he did it. Jesus tells them that if they have faith and do not doubt they will too receive whatever they ask for in prayer.

I’ve never eaten a fig before. This morning Bisa picked from figs from the tree in the back garden and offered me some. They are actually really tasty despite looking like weird onions. What is pretty cool though I though was how Jesus liked to eat figs too and He has walked up to a tree like the one in our back garden and cursed it because it had no figs. It kinda made the parable in the story a little bit more real for me because I could imagine Jesus walking around eating a fig like the one I was holding in my hand. Maybe He really liked to eat them and thats why he ended up cursing the tree when he saw there was none on its branches. I don’t blame Him, they taste pretty good.

So tonight Natalie and I went for a walk along the beach. Just chatting and walking, it was really nice, I’m loving these long summer nights. The sun doesn’t set till 9pm and the days feel so long, like you can do so much and stay up so much later. Actually daylight savings is quite deceiving! Its seems like a constant struggle for me to try and get to bed before 12am!

What I am really loving right now is relationships. I love all the relationships I have, the dynamics, the differences, the stories and random bursts of laughter. Oh gosh, how I love the laughter! Theres no other better feeling than the connectedness you feel when you can laugh with someone. And I don’t mean like, “yeah haha, thats funny.” I mean gut wrenching uncontrollable laughter, where I am laughing so hard my tummy hurts. I love Esther, she makes me laugh. We’ve had some random funny moments in the car which were kinda borderline dangerous… hehe.

I guess what I am appreciating right now too is the diversity in relationships. I love how God has created us all so different. Different ways of thinking, talking, habits and doing things. I love spending time with someone and hanging out getting to know them one on one.

Who are you?

What makes you tick?

Why do you think that?

I’m fascinated to know how God has fashioned and created them. I guess thats why I like people. Each person is like some untold story, uncharted territory with amazing testimony. I was having lunch with a girlfriend on Sunday after church, just chatting and what not. We were talking about family and what family actually means and she told me a bit about her family and how her family pretty much came to Australia as refugees and with no skills or trade worked (very hard) to build a new life for their family in this country. They had a little boy and a baby (my friends big brothers) at the time. Imagine that. To have to build your life from scratch with not even two cents to rub together and just the clothing on your back. I thought it was a pretty amazing family history and you wouldn’t even guess that looking at this woman. Shes beautiful, educated and articulate.

I guess I sometimes get the same response from people when they find out about my history. Where I am from, why I am in Perth, why I haven’t seen my family in years… even telling someone I am chinese its like “no way!! I thought you were maori or something!” Haha. I guess when we look at the exterior of a person what you see is who they are now. I know if you had met me 5-6 years ago you would of met a totally different Anna, and proberly alot less nice one if it wasn’t for the saving power of Jesus who has brought me through the refining process as I am continuing to walk out my faith journey.

Anyways, I was talking to my friend Dave last night on the phone. I was telling him how I felt I needed to downsize everything. Like as I was unpacking the boxes in my room when I got back from Hong Kong I realised how much stuff I really had. Plus all the stuff I brought back from Hong Kong, it was starting to feel really quite ridiculous. 25 pairs of shoes? 6 watches? Over 50 pieces of jewelry? Not to mention clothes! When would I realistically have time to wear all this stuff…?

When I was packing up my house in Karrinyup I found I had about 10 (cockroach infested – gross, I know.) boxes of stuff that I had accumulated over the past 7 years I’ve lived in Perth. Letters, uni note books and assignments, random bits of paper, stuffed toys, journals and photos. Ruth really encouraged me to throw out alot of the stuff I didn’t need, its just not practical for someone in my situation to have so much stuff to move from house to house. I feel a bit like a gypsy sometimes, setting up camp in house to house, but its true; I really can’t have that much stuff. So the morning of the move I went through the boxes and pretty much if it was something I didn’t really NEED now, I chucked. It was hard to do, so many memories, the story of my life but I had to realise that they were also a symbol of my past, they represented a point in time. Where I got it, how I got it or who gave it to me… and I had to let some of those things go.

My stuffed toy Mr Rabbit had to go, I brought him when I was 14 for guy I liked but never ended up giving it to him. I remember the details around buying that stuffed toy, even going into Marks and Spencers to get it. Thats huge for a 14 year old, I never had brought anything for someone I thought I cared about so that was a first time. So Mr Rabbit made the trip to the bin. Throwing away all those things though hard, was strangely releasing. It was like I was saying to God that I was releasing all those things and memories in my past that were a part of me or a part of who I thought I was, saying I wanted the future He has for me more. It was also saying that I trust Him that He would create new and better memories for me.

Only thing I ended up keeping from those boxes were my photos and my journals. I narrowed those 10 boxes into 1 small box of memories.

Anyways so Dave was telling me about his older brother Micheal who lives in the states and how he lives a really simple life. About how he lives without a television because he feels its mind numbing and isn’t adding much to his life. Pretty much his life is basically God, his church, his friends and his guitar. He just keeps his life simple to the core things he values. As he was telling me this I could imagine his brother (I know what he looks like because I used to also go to school with the guy) sitting on a porch somewhere guitar in hand surrounded by all his friends singing worship songs. And that would be his chazone, his sweet spot. All the things he loves in one place.

It got me thinking.

To live life alot simpler sounds like a nice idea. To be living in my core values without all these peripheral things sounded appealing and refreshing. So I thought about it and basically narrowed it down to 2 things: God and people. The next day I went through my wardrobe again and took out more clothes and half of my collection of shoes (now I am down to 14 pairs – its a hard decision ok!). I also took out my queen size duvet and sheets and I planned to give away my queen size bed. I didn’t really need to sleep in a bed that big, I would only take up about a quarter of it anyways. So it all got donated to the Good Sammys.

I just want to live a whole lot simpler.

Schools back next week so I’ve been getting back into the planning. My year 11’s and 12’s are studying music videos and documentary film – should be a really fun year