I believe we are all called.

We are all called with our giftings, our talents, our circumstances and most of all we are called by what God has placed in our hearts. He has entrusted to us the desires of His heart that we may be called into action. That we may use all that He has given us to serve Him. To be His hands and feet to love on others. To care and to see need. To be the person who will step out and extend our hands to pull up another who has fallen.

I truly believe that.

I feel that God has been opening my eyes to things that I have never noticed before. To see people in a way I have never seen before. Something feels different. Maybe the only way I can only describe it is like an itch. Like there is something inside deep in my soul that will burst if I don’t let it out. If I remain still. Unmoving. Immobile. Something would be lost.

I believe we are called beyond our own strength, intellect and understandings of our suburban world.  We are called to something so much bigger than ourselves, beyond what we can see. Something so big that without God, it would virtually impossible. I want to reach forward and experience it. I want to see it with my own eyes. To immerse myself in it. I want that. I want to be in a place that I am so expectant and reliant on God that if He doesn’t pull through, all could be squandered.

And then, there is love.

If there is anything above all else I wish to grow more in, it is in love. But not only to just love but how to love more. I want to know how to love when its not easy to love, in those times when everything inside me is squirming to give up and walk away. I want to know how to make ‘love win’ when love is rejected. I want to feel my heart expand past the outer walls of comfort into the destitute places of humanity. To even those destitute places within me.

It is only through the outworking of love that a human heart can be changed. I am praying that God will give me His heart and love for people. And in the same way that God has shown His immense love and grace to me, that He may use me. That my love, like His, would also inviting.

I believe we are all called. Into love and action. I pray that we would never callous our hearts that we can no longer sense the gentle breath that He whispers deep into our souls.

Tonight was tainted with a slight shade of melancholy for me. It was the last time I would see some of the new friendships I had built in my time in Hong Kong for at least another year. It highlighted to me how important relationships and people are to me. I am such a sop, I know.

But I don’t like saying good bye. I never know what to say. All the could of saids and should of saids seem so futile in those final passing moments. I never know how to be: nonchalant or thoughtful. I feel worried I am going to miss saying something important and regret it.

People are so important. I believe God puts certain people around us for a reason. The relationships we have with people are valuable and priceless. It’s these relationships we have that make a place feel like a home, its these relationships that grow us and shape us into who we are and how we view our world. It hurts to say goodbye to someone or something in every sense of the word. An old friend told me recently that I am too open and affable and that if I am not careful one day someone will take advantage of that. And though I can see where he is coming from in wanting to protect me, I never want to be in a place where I am so scared of the hurt and pain associated with relationships that I never open up my heart to people.

My pain tells me I am alive, that I am human and I can feel. It’s a reminder that my creator created me to feel in the same way that He feels towards me sometimes. Loving people hurts, but in the end I think its worth it. Jesus has showed us pretty well that people are worth sacrificing for. It may not be our lives we are giving up but it could be our time, our emotions, or our energy.

As much as I am feeling at a loss more than anything I guess I am feeling grateful. Grateful to God that He has blessed me with these friendships (both new and old) and my time in Hong Kong with my family. Grateful for the love and generosity from others to make me feel welcome and to make my stay in Hong Kong comfortable and enjoyable. I am blown away.

I am really going to miss Hong Kong with its fast paced crazy lifestyle. I am going to miss waking up in the morning to something my grandma brought me for breakfast like the pineapple buns with coconut inside just because I said I once said liked them and all the other different because “I can’t eat this in Australia.” I am going to miss sitting curled up on her grey leather couch early in the morning in my pyjamas and socks and looking out the window across to the school, wondering what the kids might be doing.

But as much as I know I am going to miss this I know I am returning to something good. I’m returning to my home church with all my friends and spiritual family. I’m returning back to familiarity. I miss my own things and driving my car!

Missing so many things right now in Hong Kong and Perth, but feeling so blessed

The ludicrous thing is: at this ungodly time of night I really should be sleeping because I have work early tomorrow and a lesson on design principals to plan. BUT, it has been a while so I thought I would update, before the gap becomes too large to write all that is happening in one post.

Since the last time I posted I have (in no particular order):

1. Turned 25.

2. Started co leading my cell group.

3. Attended my churches first south satellite service.

4. Gained a boyfriend.

5. Brought a new car.

6. Become very busy.

And right now I am having to go to sleep.

I’m learning that in amidst of challenge and confusion to focus on the things that really matter.

Inspiration: confusion and the quiet voice of God.

An image can say so much… This is my first installment of a series biographical of images.

Inspiration: A brisk walk on a cold winters evening and Deuteronomy 7:9.

Its strange not having a car anymore.
Its a strange feeling knowing I have to become dependent on public transport to get me here and there (Trust me, in Perth its no small feat), and I can’t just up and go whenever I want, where ever I want. I have to say though, life feels a lot more simpler. Not having a car is one less thing I have to worry about, registration, licensing and all the other running costs owning a car involves.
I kinda enjoy it. Sitting on the bus or train, looking out the window or at the people around me with my headphones on playing Ray LaMontagne. Almost feels like I am in a music video and everyone else around me are characters playing a role in the acoustic rhythms of Ray’s raspy voice.
I guess one thing that has really overwhelmed me in this whole situation with losing my car is the kindness shown to me by others. From people offering to pick me up for for work, help me look for cars, drop me places, opening their homes to me to stay the night so I don’t have to travel so far to concern for me walking at night, just goes to show me how much people really do care. Its a nice feeling. Being blessed is a nice feeling.
In Psalm 68:6 it says that God puts the lonely in families, and I know thats exactly what Hes done for me. He’s given me a church family here in Perth and the hospitality and love of so many people are becoming ever so evident to me, especially in this season of life. God provides.
I’m grateful I got picked up for work today. Its almost winter and it was rainy and windy this morning. I would of had to stand at the bus stop in the rain with no umbrella. Maybe I can pray for an umbrella.