I equate writing to what it must feel like for a person to surf on a large wave.
The feeling can be the most exhilarating thing in the world but firstly one needs to find the wave, and then secondly be able to catch it. Both of these also require some skill. This has led me to the conclusion that if writing was what I did to earn a living, I would in fact not be able to pay my bills. And I can completely forget about pro surfing for that matter as well.
I do actually enjoy writing. I like the meditative nature of it. The in and out, the twisting and turning, the typing and deleting of vague thoughts into actuality. Its all very therapeutic.
But so many things stand in the way. They purposely distract me from the stillness, from focus. Sleep, TV, Facebook, work. They cry out for attention like a baby that needs to be fed. Some days I just can not bring myself to write anything.
The thought of having to think and to articulate tires me. I sit at my computer well intentioned, with all the right tabs open and its like having ADD. I’ll remember that I haven’t scooped the cat litter today, I should call the dentist or I’ll think about the last conversation I had and daydream what it would of been like if I had said something funnier or wittier. Or even vaguely helpful.
I’ve been reading ‘Bird by bird’ by Anne Lamott and she recommends breaking the task down. Just write about one thing, write one paragraph and that’s all you need to attempt. Just get something down. Don’t worry if its messy, incoherent or rambling. Just get it down and fix it later. Messiness is what first drafts are for. So this, I am going to try.